Marriage...

So my brother-in-law is getting divorced after several years of marriage. Since he and his soon to be ex-wife got married shortly after my husband and I did, it's definitely got me thinking. What is it about some relationships that make them last while others just fizzle out, founder, and eventually die a horrible death?

Husband and I have definitely been through our share of ugly marital issues and divorce had most certainly crossed both of our minds. We decided that things were worth saving, and we were right. Yes, things get stagnant sometimes, but it's up to both of us to make an active decision to be together. Along that same line, we had also decided that we wouldn't just stay together simply for the sake of not being alone or just being "together for the kids." There has to be a long-lasting desire to be partners with someone, otherwise it's just not going to work and you'll both end up bitter and empty.

Divorces are so sad. They bring out the worst in people. It's really hard to see two people who were madly in love with each other end up to the point that they absolutely hate each other. What's even worse is when kids are involved. There are so many psychological issues that are linked to kids who are from broken homes. Even those kids who are in their 20s and 30s who later find out that their parents were just sticking it out until all the kids were grown up suffer from similar problems as the kids who experienced divorce at a younger age. It's almost like a betrayal to the kids. To think that everything is fine and have that rug pulled out from under you, no matter what your age, is probably devastating and would definitely have a life-long impact.

Bottom line: love the one you're with and if you can't do that, at least try to be nice to each other when things end.