The Countdown Continues....

Here I am, less than 2 weeks until my due date and I am feeling less like an Earth-mother life-bringing vessel and more like a beached whale addicted to graham crackers, pudding, and Otter pops. Time is dwindling and I question every cramp, contraction, ache, and twinge. You would think this is my first time around!

I am getting to the point where this pregnancy is irritating me. Please don't think I am referring to the awesome bundle of life growing inside of me who is intent on destroying my ribs/bladder/intenstinal tract. He's incredible and amazing. Just the state of being pregnant is getting old. A woman is pregnant for 40 weeks, which for everyone else is approximately 10 months. That is 2 months shy of an entire year. That is 280 days out of 365 days in which you are crying, laughing, vomiting, burping, yelling, farting, sobbing hysterically, hurting, eating like a champion, crying, sleeping, not sleeping, eating, leaking various body fluids for various reasons, vomiting, crying, and Lord knows what else. Of course, if you go over your due date, please feel free to add the necessary extra days you get to do all this fun stuff. No longer do people tell me hello. Standard greeting is: "ARE YOU STILL PREGNANT?!" or "When are you due again? Boy, time sure flies!" My response usually is: "Yep, still pregnant... thanks for reminding me." or "Time does not fly on this side of the uterus, thank you very much." At this point in time, all I can think about is being pregnant...it would be very nice if someone could talk to me about some non-maternity related topic. Topics of interest could include: flowers, pirates, books, house remodeling, music, juggling, fire-eating, cooking, French Canadians, and/or how much AT&T sucks.

I'm sure some of you at this point are going, "Silly Kate, she's done this before. Why is she complaining???" I assure you that the first pregnancy was definitely not like this and I'm beginning to feel like I was duped! No one told me that the more pregnancies you have, the more pregnant you feel! One could say that I brought this upon myself for bragging so much that my first pregnancy was "sooooo easy." I am not accepting responsibility. I would like to think that the Universe/Cosmos/some vengeful maternity god is out to get me for reasons beyond my control.

So ends my rant on all maternity-related items. Stay tuned for more tongue-in-cheek nonsense. :)

Random pet peeves...

DISCLAIMER: These are MY pet peeves. Some of these might be
inflammatory to readers. This is how I feel. If you don't agree,
then I'm sorry. If you do agree, then yay, I'm not alone! :)

-Strangers/customer service people using terms of endearment (honey, dear, sweetie, pookiesnookums). I don't know you, I may not be as sweet as you think.

-Visitors/customers/co-workers who speak to me like I should qualify for the Special Olympics based solely on the fact that I answer phones for a living.

-People who live up to the receptionist stereotype.. take some pride in your work, people!

-Unattended, uncontrollable, rambunctious children in any kind of public environment. Parents: this is why single people hate children.

-Women with ample bosoms who do not cover them up properly and then wonder aloud why they're getting negative sexual attention.

-Wal-Mart

-Television networks who cancel great shows without a simple explanation to its viewers/fans.

-Morning radio shows that don't play a single speck of music for 4 hours...I hear enough talking all day at work; all I want are some rockin jams on the drive in.

-School district/daycare employees who would probably not even qualify for a job at the DI/Savers/mowing lawns/McDonalds based on intellect. These people are in charge of educating my child & I don't think I'd trust them with cooking my hamburger!

-Drive-thru employees who ask if that's everything after I have told them (once or TWICE) that is all I want. I understand your job sucks, but please pay attention to what I'm saying so it looks like you actually care about what you do.

-Raising the minimum wage, then raising grocery, gas, and restaurant prices, and then wondering why the economy still sucks.

-People who abuse state/Federal aid in lieu of working like everyone else. That is meant to be a temporary fix, not a permanent solution.

-People who have a higher level of education (Master's, Doctorate, etc.) and have the manners/intellect/demeanor of a pissant. You and/or the government spent a lot of money on your education, use it.

-People who have a lower level of education and have the manners/intellect/demeanor of a pissant. You do not have to conform to the drunken white-trash stereotype, rise above.

-The meat/cheese toppings to lettuce ratio in a salad. Will it really bankrupt an eating establishment to fork out a little extra? I won't mind if you charge me .50 extra so I can actually see shrimp in my salad.

-The Green Movement: Shouldn't we have been doing this 20 years ago?

-Dog hair: IT'S EVERYWHERE.

7 weeks to go....

Your pregnancy: 33 weeks

How your baby's growing:

This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

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It hit me yesterday that I am going to be having a BABY NEXT MONTH. O.M.G!! I am not prepared in the slightest. Husband and I had a long talk yesterday and I think I'm calmer about it than I was. The little dude is coming no matter how prepared or unprepared we are, so we might as well just deal with it. I was able to get a couple little things done last night so I feel better.

It's just bizarre... I had just gotten used to the fact that I'm a mom of a 6 year old little girl and now we're throwing a BABY into the picture??? Oy vey, I'm gonna need counseling ;)

How in the world do you pronounce jicama?

Your pregnancy: 32 weeks

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.


8 MORE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Question...

Do giraffes get hiccups....?

It's quiet...a little too quiet

Mackenzie has been gone camping with her grandparents since Thursday evening. The silence is maddening! I didn't realize how much I missed all the noise she makes! Nor did I realize how noisy she is. This house is way too quiet for my own sanity. Mike and I were married for almost two years before we had Mackenzie and I'm not really sure how we made it through this deafening silence. Of course, we didn't know what we were missing either.

Definitely food for thought.... when I was 18 my plans did not include marriage and kids and a house and all that suburban crap that comes with it. Now I can't even imagine life any other way but this! Yes folks, I've become a typical housewife... oy vey.

Joke of the Day...

"My favorite channel is the Lifetime Channel because Lifetime is television for women -- Lifetime: Television for Women. Yet, for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel."

-Jim Gaffigan
-Comedy Central Jokes.com

Marriage...

So my brother-in-law is getting divorced after several years of marriage. Since he and his soon to be ex-wife got married shortly after my husband and I did, it's definitely got me thinking. What is it about some relationships that make them last while others just fizzle out, founder, and eventually die a horrible death?

Husband and I have definitely been through our share of ugly marital issues and divorce had most certainly crossed both of our minds. We decided that things were worth saving, and we were right. Yes, things get stagnant sometimes, but it's up to both of us to make an active decision to be together. Along that same line, we had also decided that we wouldn't just stay together simply for the sake of not being alone or just being "together for the kids." There has to be a long-lasting desire to be partners with someone, otherwise it's just not going to work and you'll both end up bitter and empty.

Divorces are so sad. They bring out the worst in people. It's really hard to see two people who were madly in love with each other end up to the point that they absolutely hate each other. What's even worse is when kids are involved. There are so many psychological issues that are linked to kids who are from broken homes. Even those kids who are in their 20s and 30s who later find out that their parents were just sticking it out until all the kids were grown up suffer from similar problems as the kids who experienced divorce at a younger age. It's almost like a betrayal to the kids. To think that everything is fine and have that rug pulled out from under you, no matter what your age, is probably devastating and would definitely have a life-long impact.

Bottom line: love the one you're with and if you can't do that, at least try to be nice to each other when things end.

The First...

So at the behest of a friend... I am starting a blog. Tadah!

I'm not sure how I feel about this right now, nor do I know what the heck to write. I think I'm just gonna throw whatever in as I feel like it. This might include daily ramblings, bits of poetry, my stress at the moment, as well as random bitchings about people/situations that irritate the holy crap out of me.

So there it is folks, stay tuned for amazing and riveting tales of my life (no promises)!